The cultural expectations are that Asian women don’t have that kind of freedom to hang out, to go out with friends, to do the kinds of things most teenagers growing up want to do. In addition, Asian American girls are under pressure to be the perfect mothers and daughters and wives as well. They are often expected to be super moms in their near future who would be dedicated to their family and work a full time job at the same time.

Excerpt from “Young Asian American Women: Under Double Pressure” by Kristy Soyeon Kim [hardboiled] (via angryasiangirlsunited)

I listen to my colleagues from other cultural backgrounds discuss everything in terms of either family or career, and I’m always the one asking why do they think it has to be one or the other.  Of course now that I think about it, I realize I’ve lived my whole life with the expectation that I will have the 2 kids & husband, and I will have a kick-ass career.  Most [but not all] of my Asian female friends were raised with the same expectation, and while I would like to say that maybe that’s not so bad because we’re all doing pretty well in our careers and most are married or in serious relationships, I realize that none of us have kids yet so the supermom expectations haven’t kicked in and from what I understand, that’s when things get complicated.

(via brownpeopleproblems)

Source: hardboiled.berkeley.edu

Packing: Getting Rid of Exes

I found a bunch of notes and cards from the ex-before-the-ex, photos with him and of him, and also the two diaries I kept before Tumblr.  Even though I’ve already moved once since that breakup, I did it in such a rush that I didn’t get a chance to sort through things and get rid of the unwanteds.  

It felt a little weird today to throw out the notes and photos because it felt a little like I was throwing him out of my life, which I’m not because we’re good friends and even the bf is okay with that these days.  As for the diaries, I got all kinds of paranoid and ripped every single page out and then ripped them to several pieces because I didn’t want someone going through the recycling and being all like I just found the most melodramatic non-fiction ever.  So naturally I mixed up all the pieces and separated them into different bags.  And now that I think about it, I don’t think I’m supposed to put trash bags in the recycling bin…

If a girl is used to being the hottest girl in the room, she’s tired of hearing how gorgeous she is. Spill a drink on her and then act like you don’t care. She’ll want you. She wants to be noticed. Otherwise, why would she be out?
Actual advice I just read in a comment. It had more likes than any good suggestions on how to approach pretty girls. (via browniehusband)

She does want to be noticed, but she doesn’t want you morons to ruin her beautiful clothes, you ugly destructive ape!!
[unless you’re Ryan Gosling or his twin or Adam Levine or his twin]

Life at Full Speed

Thursday evening I flew to Ann Arbor for my last trip there - BF’s graduation.

Friday afternoon I met his parents.

Friday evening - he graduated.

Saturday - packed up his place and realized long distance is over. Got drunk with him and his brother, then played sober for his parents at dinner.

Sunday - road trip to Niagara Falls.

Monday - road trip through upstate New York, Pennsylvania, and Maryland to get to Arlington, Virginia.

Tuesday - apartment-hunting and finding the perfect apartment for him, which will also be our apartment after a few months.

Wednesday - can we slow down a bit, life?

Runs with Poodles: On being bold (or: I'm still a unicorn)

runswithpoodles:

So, I’ve been seeing this guy for the last month or so, and I really liked him. Honestly, he was the first guy in the two years that I’ve been dating that I could actually see it become something, which was both awesome and kind of terrifying. And of course I didn’t talk about it on here much…

Oh gosh, I remember dating in Portland [example: most of this blog]…and all the damn run-ins that go with it!  And also all the men who just like to turn into something highly disappointing just when you start thinking maybe…  In retrospect, I’ve reached the conclusion that dating in Portland is great so long as you’re just doing it for fun; if you want some real though…I don’t know, it clearly didn’t work for me.

But umm, Unicorns are awesome, and so are all the women of Portland, so men of Portland as a general group really just need to get their shit together.

…aaaand Just Like THAT,

In a completely and utterly unpredictable twist of life - 

My request to work from Houston was denied that Wednesday.  AKA I have to choose between staying at my current job, which I love, and moving forward with my bf, whom I also love.  Dilemma.

Thursday afternoon [very next day - not making this up], bf’s company called wondering if he would be open to a position in DC.

Following Wednesday, my company approved my transfer to our DC office.

Friday…bf and I are moving to DC in July and I get to keep my job and I get to try out the east coast!

The issue of women’s rights is not over until it would never even occur to a man to do this to a woman because she rejects him or just because she is a woman.

punkrockmermaid:

acid attacks in pakistan

This literally left me in tears.

(via brownpeopleproblems)

Source: laurajul.dk

Spaces in My Heart: WRM

Also saving this from the other blog because this man is still one of my favorite people even though I’m pretty sure the last time I spoke to him was over a year ago.  We regularly stalk each other on FB, like each other’s photos, and text about needing to have a catch-up session soon so we can tell each other about these significant others who are making us feel like all the romantic misery of our lives in Portland was worth it and in a very warm, fuzzy, comfy, favorite sweater kind of way he still has a big chunky piece of my heart.

spacesinmyheart:

Sometimes I wonder about this man.

Like every time I look at the only photo of us that exists. It’s the only photo I’ve taken so far where I look like I belong next to the man standing by me. You know, that harmony you see in photos with people who you know belong in your life?

Or when at the very moment that I’m staring at our picture and wondering, he suddenly pops up on IM to share some good news with me.  

Or when something reminds me of the first time we saw each other - one of those moments I’ve only ever read about; one of those moments that are supposed to happen only when you meet the eyes of your soulmate for the first time.

Or when I think about those nights when he held my hand as we slept - no matter who turned or got up during the night, every time I woke up enough to be aware of things, his hand was in mine.

Or when I recall his behavior during the time I was upset with him enough to not respond to any of his attempts to communicate.

Or when I remember that sex with him, drunk or sober, felt more like making love.

At those times I wonder if maybe he’s the One and our story will just take years to unfold.

But then I remember that I was never able to say “I love you.”  How can someone be the One if I’ve never been able to look into his eyes and tell him I love him?